Urge surfing
Urge surfing is riding an urge out instead of fighting it, on the basis that an urge behaves like a wave: it rises, peaks and passes on its own if nothing feeds it. You do not argue with the urge or try to suppress it, you watch it move and wait.
What it looks like
Noticing where the pull sits in your body, chest or jaw or hands, and staying still while it climbs. It gets loud, it crests, and then it is quieter than it was, usually sooner than you expected. Nothing dramatic happens. You simply did not act, and it went anyway.
What the research says
The technique comes from the psychologist Alan Marlatt's work on relapse prevention and is now used inside mindfulness based relapse prevention, dialectical behaviour therapy and acceptance and commitment therapy. Trials of urge surfing for cravings report reduced acting on the urge, though effect sizes vary and much of the research is on substances rather than everyday urges. (Bowen and Marlatt, Psychology of Addictive Behaviors, 2009)
The honest part
Nobody can honestly tell you how long an urge lasts. Published figures disagree wildly, from a three to five minute peak to a fade over fifteen to thirty minutes, and almost all of that research is on cravings rather than the everyday pull to scroll or snap or put something off. That is why a good timer starts short and lets you go again rather than promising a number.
Practise it · free tool
Ride the Wave →
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Solace offers calm, practical tools, not medical advice. If what you’re feeling is frequent or affecting your daily life, it is worth speaking with a doctor or a qualified professional.